Monday, August 24, 2009

36 Twitter Hash Tags That Never Were

FunnyFunnyFor those of you who do not know or who have never used Twitter (shame on you), a hash tag is the '#' symbol followed by a word or two, all mashed together. It is used in a post in order for other twitter users to track a particular trending topic. Some of the current topics as of today are: #itsnotcheating, #fact, #musicmonday, #shoutout and the ever popular #ff and #followfriday.

Here is the definition given by the folks at Hash Tags dot Org.
"Hashtags are a community-driven convention for adding additional context and metadata to your tweets. They're like tags on Flickr, only added inline to your post. You create a hashtag simply by prefixing a word with a hash symbol: #hashtag."
Now, for these to work effectively and to track the actual use of a tag, one must register that tag over at someplace like the a fore mentioned, . Once done, when you look up that tag on their site, you can see how often it is used and to what extent. Got it? Good. If not, catch up, will ya?

So, an knee hoo ... after a fun evening exchanging tweets with a few of my followers, I noticed two in particular that use any hash tag that happens to pop in to their head. Both in complete disregard to their intended purpose because they will never use it again. Ever.

To these two, and others like them, the tags seem to be a sub-micro blog in a micro blog.

Now, twitter gives you 140 characters to post your ... whatever ... but for the hash tag assassins, that is entirely way to much room. The ones they create are usually 2-8 words long and are a short statement or question, done in a 'after the fact' or 'on a side note' style.

Now, after attempting to enlighten one of these fellow tweeters @Tejas74 (yes it's a lame moniker but it is better than twits) on the proper etiquette of hash tag inclusion in their posts, I decided to see just how serious of a hash tag infraction had been committed by this and one other nameless individual ... who shall remain nameless and with out name. @CrixLee

After only 10 minutes, I was able to pull from the bowels of the twitter vault the following 36 never to be used again by man hash tags. They are as follows:
  1. #whythefuckisithotagain
  2. #fuckmerunning
  3. #hashfuckingtag
  4. #fuckthat
  5. #dinnerinaboxcausewifedoesntcook
  6. #poopvaccum
  7. #areyoufuckingkiddingme
  8. #whoareyouhowdidigetheregetoffmylawn
  9. #redneckjackpot
  10. #mymomisepicwin
  11. #ballbuster
  12. #imacheapwhore
  13. #uselesstweetsarehilarious
  14. #igotyounowbitch
  15. #tweetdeckbitch
  16. #rrraaaiiiidddd
  17. #drgreenegsandalham
  18. #beerandmovieftw
  19. #imdeslexic
  20. #snuggiefail
  21. #comeheremousebitch
  22. #huffin
  23. #frozenwaltonastick
  24. #imabadasslikewhiskeywhiskey
  25. #okyoucaughtme
  26. #mamasaidshewouldntbefamousuhhh
  27. #mamasgotthemagicofclorox2
  28. #marthacomehome
  29. #waitforitwaitforit
  30. #undieshereicome
  31. #tveducationftw
  32. #fayetweetsjustfine
  33. #divorcephotographerfo
  34. #damnyourainyousob
  35. #igrewupinatrailer
  36. #idontknowshitaboutcomputers
Now remember, this was a 10 minute search on two tweeple (twitterisims FTW! Sorry, #FTW) and all the above were brought to the surface. Aye yaye yaye. Now I don't know about you but ... that is some funny crap right there. I don't care who you are.

With that said, I guess that I will let these two slide and not report them to the Misuse of Hash Tag Early Response Squad, MOTHERS for short, for their tweet crimes.

If you want to do your part and stop the hash tag assassins before they can commit another heinous, how be it funny, butchering of a defenseless hash tag, then become a Deputy in Reforming Twitter Yokels.

As a DIRTY agent, it will be your responsibility to help bring these criminals to justice, thus propelling you on your way to becoming a full-fledged DIRTY MOTHER in no time at all. Sign up. Do your part. Stop the insanity before another guffaw is produced by the death of an innocent hash tag.

Thank you and God bless.